A monologue from the play by May Isabel Fisk

NOTE: This play was first published in Monologues. May Isabel Fisk. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1903. It is now a public domain work and may be performed without royalties.

WOMAN: Katie! Katie, has she gone? What did she say? Tell me every word.... Oh, oh, oh! Katie, you oughtn't to have told me that.... Well, I know I told you to tell me, but-- Never mind; it's all right. What else did she say?... Oh, the wretch! That she would send and take the hat back if she wasn't paid by tomorrow morning? So vulgar of her--bringing the bill herself. I never heard of such a thing.... And she said I was no lady? She's a beast! To think I've been buying my hats all this time from such a low woman. Katie--you're sure Mr. Carson didn't hear a word?... Oh, Katie, what do you think she can do to me? Do you think she could put me in prison, just for a few hats?... No, Katie, you're a good girl, but you can't help me. Only, don't you ever let that dreadful woman in again. That's all, Katie. I--I--almost thought I'd paid that other bill. I--I--I'm pretty sure I thought I had when I bought this other hat. Well, why shouldn't she let me have it--she's got a whole store full of hats! If I had the money I'd give it to her. Now, she has the hats--why shouldn't she let me have one? The world is full of horrid people who are always wanting money, money, money. Perhaps I'd better just look over those perfectly awful accounts again and see if I can make them come out different. Different! That's just the trouble. I get a different answer every single time I go over them. And this last time I found I had $87 left by the accounts, but I hadn't a cent in my pocketbook. And last week the accounts said I oughtn't to have had any money left--and I did. I had $10. Oh, I wonder where it is. Oh, I guess I've spent it. I wish I hadn't paid the grocer. He's such a nice man I'm sure he wouldn't have minded waiting if I'd told him about the hats.

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